There will be challenges

The challenges we come across make us appreciate the good things we come across in life. A challenge I have to face each day is a Lupus diagnosis. People misinterpret Lupus as being lazy, not being really sick or "there's nothing wrong with you". The biggest thing people can do is educate themselves on what this disease really is. The best way I can describe it is it's an auto immune deficiency. For more information on lupus: click here

Lupus is a challenge for me, some days I don't even want to get out of bed because I am so exhausted, sometimes everything just hurts so much. And sometimes I just want to give up. It's a challenge I face, everyone faces different challenges, but when we overcome the challenges that is what makes everything worth it.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with a girl I babysit. We went swimming for 3 hours and was in the hot sun. I didn't feel to bad out in the sun, but it was as soon as I came back inside took a shower and stood for a moment. I became extremely light headed and felt HORRIBLE. I guess I forget sometimes. My lupus had been going so well I forget that I am not invincible and actually do suffer from it. It's a challenge. I was able to go home from work and rest, which was nice. Then it was time for a new day. It's that choice, stay in bed and feel sorry for myself or get up and enjoy the day.

Having lupus is just one of the challenges I face. For everyone it is different, but at the end of the day it is a challenge. We can sit back and let it consume us, or we can decide to pick ourselves up and carry on with our day. I like the second option because even though there is a big challenge in front of me overcoming it every day is the greatest feeling in this world.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
-Martin Luther King Jr. 

Be in the present

Late night, early morning. I'm starting to feel the effects of lack of sleep kick in. Today I had practice at 8 a.m. Not too bad, but any time you step on the board that early it feels like it's around 5 a.m. Surprisingly it was an amazing practice! I am fixing my hurdle (the technique used to get to the end of the board). It finally came together and started to let me jump higher and actually be able to finish my dives. I was having issues with twisting on my entry, and I fixed that too. Maybe the lack of sleep my ability to not over think my dive really helped.

Diving is such a mental sport. When you are thinking of other things, especially negative things it really effects what you do off the board and into the water. I try my best to leave my thoughts of things besides diving at the door, sometimes it's difficult, but other times it makes it so diving is a safe place, an escape from reality.

Today I learned a fair about life in general. There needs to be balance. Having a perfect life isn't being great at just one thing there needs to be balance. I was told to listen to this one song by The Byrds called Turn, Turn, Turn! The Words were adapted from The Bible, book of Ecclesiastes. The song states that there is a time for everything. Time to laugh, time to cry. Everything we do in our life isn't worthless, but there needs to be a balance and we need to live in the present. Make sure everything we do that day makes us happy. If you're doing something that doesn't make you happy, change it!

Falling into place

That moment when things are finally starting to click is the greatest feeling. Even in my life outside of diving when all of my hard work finally pays off is just a wonderful feeling.

Today I got to experience that in diving.

Practice has been quite interesting. During the summer we go back to basics, start at the bottom and build our way back up to our dives we compete. During competition season we tend to forget the basics and focus on the big dives, but ultimately if you can't do an approach, you can't do the dive! It was quite interesting going back to the "easy" dives. Trust me they weren't that easy! I was smacking on my back and on my front over and over. If I can't do the simplest dive how was I ever able to make my harder dives. The theory is if you can have the technique of the simpler dives you are able to transition into the harder dives. It has been a long few weeks of nothing but blah. Today was the first day it clicked. I was able to do my harder dive better than I have ever done. It was higher, it was faster and I had a nice come out. FINALLY!

Today in the "real world" my issue was MATH. Goodness I wonder if anyone else has as much trouble with math as I do. I feel the class started off fairly easy, I joked saying the class was a joke. I spoke too soon. I am now sitting here trying to do some conversions.... I don't even know how to start these questions. I try to tackle my math problems as if I were to tackle a new dive. Start with what I know and go for it. Don't be afraid, be confident. Sounds silly, but half the time I over think my math problems and at first I had them right, but then change them to the incorrect answer. Like in diving and life I need to trust my gut instinct even in math. If anyone knows math, let me know!

It was really exciting to be recognized for something outside of just my diving skills. My amazing teammate Al and I were acknowledged for going to the NCAA Career in Sport Forum, the one I had mentioned earlier this month. Check out this article and hear what we learned.

Happy Tuesday.

-Kersten xo.

For the LOVE of the sport

Why? Some days I ask myself that. Why do I get up at 5 a.m. Why do I have to choose sleep over hanging out with my friends? I know it sounds like I am complaining, but it does get difficult making those decisions. Sometimes it is difficult answering them too.

Today I didn't have to answer them, someone else did.

I was at outdoor tower practice, exhausted and just not feeling it. I was listing off my crazy list of things to do for the day when my coach told me that I am very lucky to be able to do all of those things. I realized he was right! I have an amazing opportunity to dive for the University of Utah. I am lucky to have a great job. I am also blessed to be in college. I tend to take the little things for granted, and to some those aren't little things, they are huge.

I just did a terrible dive and a little boy swam over to me and said "That was a good dive. Do you dive for the University of Utah? It's my dream to go there!" He smiled got up and did his dive flying over. He laughed and got up and did another one, almost perfect. He had so much energy and passion, he was what reminded me of why I get up early, why I choose sleep over friends... FOR THE LOVE OF THE SPORT.

I learned that it was only his second time diving and he was already doing inward dives on the three meter... Now that is quite impressive if you know ANYTHING about diving. His Mom said he loves diving and has wanted to do it for two years. He was a gymnast so has that body awareness, but it's not that awareness that will make him good, it's his passion! He reminded me of when I started and how much I loved my sport. It's worth missing one night out with a friend here and there. I sadly will only be an athlete for a short time, but I will be a friend for a lifetime. 

Thanks to that little boy I remembered why I do what I do. I love diving, every bit of it. The early mornings, the smacks, the frustration, but also the fun, the feeling of learning a new dive, the traveling, the friends, the memories! If the positives outweigh the negatives you are doing it right.

Finding the balance of being a division one athlete is difficult, don't get me wrong. I sit and reminiscence on the nights I didn't see that movie, go to that concert or hang out with my friends. I am working on trying to find the right fit for everything in my life without leaving anyone or anything behind, especially my dreams.

-Kersten xo.

Life in the fast lane

Well there goes my daily blog entry already. I was wondering how long that would last, I'm trying my best, but the only excuse I can think of is I'M SO BUSY. That is one excuse I hate hearing, but it is one I tend to use on a daily basis.

A typical weekday schedule this summer for me seems to be:

Monday: Gym 7-745am. Tower practice 8-930am. Math 10-1130am. Internship 12-1pm. Springboard practice 1pm-245pm. Work 3-11pm.
Tuesday: Weights 9-945am. Math 10-1130am.Internship 12-1pm. Springboard practice 1pm-245pm. Work 3-11pm.
Wednesday: Gym 7-745am. Tower practice 8-930am. Math 10-1130am. Internship 12-1pm. Springboard practice 1pm-245pm. Work 3-11pm.
Thursday: Weights 9-945am. Math 10-1130am.Internship 12-1pm. Springboard practice 1pm-245pm. Work 3-11pm.
Friday: MORNING OFF! Practice 1-245pm. Work 3-11pm.

That is a rough draft of my schedule. Some days I have off of work, as I will work a weekend shift instead.

As my Mom always told me "That's life in the fast lane."

Being a student-athlete a lot of the time feels like an athlete-student. Your sport is most important, but you still have to manage being a student with impeccable grades. Work to pay the bills and an internship to build your resume. I feel like I am the big nerd in high school trying to cram every extra circular activity in like I am applying for Harvard.

At the end of the day when I am passing out as soon as I hit my pillow I remember one thing.... It's worth it.

Fitness: skinny vs. fit

"I can be skinny after my senior year!" I told my teammate that today during practice. I don't mean I am obese or overweight, I mean I am in training mode.

I haven't really lifted since December when I hit my foot on the board, as I wasn't able to put much impact on it. I lost ALL of my muscle and I personally felt great. I loved looking at myself in a mirror in passing. Today was my second day back in the weight room, and about my fifth day doing daily cardio. I already have that feeling of "I'm getting bigger" not necessarily in a bad way, but in a muscular way. I guess it's tough to define the difference. For my sport I need leg power and pretty much every other muscle. With loosing a lot of my muscle in the past six months I saw a "skinny" side of myself, but it doesn't help with my diving. Yes I feel great, but I was struggling pushing the board. Now I'm back to lifting and already feeling like uh this is going to be a long year. I need to realize that it's awesome I am putting on muscle, as it will benefit me through my senior season. I can be skinny if I want when I'm finished my last meet... But than again I may eat a lot of junk food haha.

Remember: skinny doesn't necessarily mean fit.

When you start seeing the numbers add on the scale instead of subtract, don't panic. If you're eating healthy, working out and giving it your all you're gaining that muscle, not fat. Again this is another reminder for myself!

-Kersten xo.

On injuries & reality

Day one back at Cottonwood Heights, which is our outdoor platforms. Trust me 10 meter looks a higher with an unlimited ceiling... And standing up there it looks even worse.

First day back means entries and basics. Sometimes I find basics harder than actually doing dives. I will be sore tomorrow, that's all I can say.


INJURY...

That word makes me cringe every time I hear it. In December I hit the board prior to one of our biggest duel meets of the season. It was during warm ups, and I was getting close on my dive, but then I ended up smacking my foot on the board pretty hard. Yes it hurt, but I was more worried about being able to compete. It was our rivalry meet and I couldn't let my team down. I told my trainer to tape it up and let me compete. It hurt through the whole event, but that meet was one of the best of my season. I learned that day what it was to be a team... NOT an individual. I did it for them. The picture on the left is my foot after I hit the board.

 

Right now my injury is healed and I'm ready to go! This isn't about me at the moment it's about my teammate and one of my best friends, Jasmine. I was asked one day when was a time to had to motivate someone? I always think of Jaz when it comes to motivation and success. Jaz hit the tower a year and a half ago during out training trip to Colorado. After finishing her season on her injured ankle she found out that it had a few stress fractures and some damage. She then had to undergo surgery. She is still struggling. The surgery didn't work for her. She is a talented diver and it is hard seeing her go through rehab, pain and starting over every practice. It hurts for her to jump, run and do everything diving consists of. She's suppose to be getting better, but that doesn't seem to be the case. It kills me that I can't do anything for her. I try my best but what can I really say? I don't understand what she is going through. I recovered from when I hit the board, she didn't. I just wish she could get back on the board, no issues, no pain. Until then I got to keep trying to motivate her to not give up.

The hills of life

Well last night I got the chance to actually spend some time with my team. YAY.

I tend to work until 11 p.m. almost every night so I'm exhausted. I was lucky and was able to get off of work early!! That meant I got to see some of my teammates I haven't seen in forever. It was a great night and I'm so lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

This morning I woke up feeling great. Wanted to hit the gym and just relax before another eight hour shift and a jump into the new week.

Lately I have been having a tough time with someone not understanding that I want my own time. I want my free time, and space so that I can do what I want to do. I understand I get up bright and early and head to bed way after the sun goes down. It's what I want right now. I want to have an amazing summer full of memories, but also be training toward my senior year! I feel like people are having a tough time understanding and accepting this. I just wish they could see it from my perspective. I love my friends and care about them a lot, just wish they'd stop being so upset with me.

In my workout world, one of my wonderful teammates Melissa (she is a swimmer) said she would workout with me today. She is unreal! Her idea of a workout is us nearly dying. There is this HUGE hill by her house and she usually runs up and down it six times, timing herself each time. I give her major credit. I have asthma and well it sure kicked in. After the third run up I nearly passed out. She was ready to keep going. During the second run up I wanted to just quit, but she kept me going...

This got me thinking. The hills of life. Sometimes we have to climb a steep hill, barely being able to reach the top.. But when we reach that top the view is amazing and well it gets easier. Hard work does pay off, may take a while, but it is always rewarding.

-Kersten xo.

Obstacles

“One of the most important keys to Success is having the discipline to do what you know you should do, even when you don't feel like doing it.” - Unknown

Waking up on a day off to go to the gym is sometimes agonizing, but it's about how bad you want it. Last year I feel I just went through the motions, rather than putting in the work that needs to be done.

PAC 12 conference is the fastest conference in the NCAA, with CAL and Stanford heading the pack. The divers are just as strong, a few Olympians here and some national team members there. I have never been on a national team, I have gone to nationals a few times, so I'm not known on the international diving scene, where they are all known.

Today I managed to hit the arch trainer for 30 minutes, cardio isn't as important for a diver, but it keeps you in shape and gets your heart rate going. 

I'm now standing at work on a very slow day, but now I can get some of my homework done.

-Kersten xo.

Let's Do This

Starting new. That's what everyone hopes they can do, but we have to remember "the grass is always greener on the other side." 

I read this quote, yes I love my quotes, and it got me thinking...

"Don't wait until everything is just right... There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger..." - Mark Victor Hansen

6:00 a.m. - I hit the elliptical hard. It wasn't for a long time, but it was enough to wake me up and feel good.

Summer training differs A LOT compared to being in season. Everyone kind of does their own thing, travel, work, school, not train as much, so motivation drops more than 70 percent. 

In season we usually practice twice a day Monday-Friday 6:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. With a morning and afternoon off. We practice Saturdays for a few hours and have Sundays off.

Practices include: dry land, weight training and diving.

This summer I have a lot of goals heading into the 2013-2014 season. I had the chance to finally sit down with my coach and ask him what he thinks of everything. I realized this is my last year, I can complain about practices, or give it my all. I choose the second option.

Now I'm just working away....

-Kersten xo.

New Start

What are your top three values? Are you following them in your everyday life?

My values are:
1. Family
2. Courage
3. Faith

At the end of the day when everything else is falling apart you have your family. Even at rock bottom your family can give you the courage that everything will be alright. And you just need that faith to reassure you of all of that.

I feel like I have been compromising my values to be where I am in my life. That is something that should never be done. I learned about this this past weekend at the NCAA Career in Sports Forum.

The NCAA Career in Sports Forum is a conference for NCAA athletes through Division I,II and III. I spent four days with athletes in different sports from all over the nation who aspire to have a career in sports. We had the chance to learn about the NCAA as an organization, about potential sports careers, how to network, and mainly about ourselves. I am so blessed and lucky to have had such an amazing experience surrounding myself by motivated, inspirational and amazing athletes and facilitators.

I tweeted my first day back to reality. "Yesterday I woke up surrounded by inspirational, talented and motivated people. Today I woke up realizing I have some things to change."

Today I made a change, it's only one day, but it is a start.

Life as a DI athlete is busy, never ending but extremely rewarding.

-Kersten xo

Hello my name is...

When you first meet someone you introduce yourself. A person makes a decision about you in the first 15 seconds, so make sure you have your "elevator speech" ready.

"Hello my name is Kersten Merry. I am a diver at the University of Utah, but I was born and raised in Canada. And I am a division I NCAA athlete"

An "elevator speech" is something I learned about this past weekend at the NCAA Career in Sports Forum. You never know who you are going to meet, or when your dream opportunity presents itself so make sure you have exactly what you're going to say down pact.

I am starting this blog as a class assignment, but also to share my experiences being a diver at the division one level. Sometimes I have friends who don't exactly understand why I don't have time for things, or why when in a group for a class project my schedule is a little crazier than theirs. Knowledge is power and I want people to see things from my perspective. Everyone is different so my experience may be different from the next athlete, so please take that into consideration.

If you have any questions along the way I would love to hear them.

-Kersten xo.