Stuck in a rut

Same thing day after day after day. Sometimes I find it extremely hard to pick myself up in the morning. The same routine. The same classes. The same practice. The same work schedule. Yes routines mean that I am getting better. Routines mean that I am disciplined and know my priorities. But lately routines have got me down in the dumps. There is this one song I have been listening too, “Something More” by Sugarland. It’s just saying there has to be more than what is in front of me. 

I feel like I take advantage of all of the great opportunities I have. I have to remind myself sometimes where I am at in my life. I am only 22 years old; I am a division one diver for the University of Utah in the best conference in the nation; I am a Dean’s List student; I have a job that pays my bills; I have a place to live; I have a loving family and friends. I am truly blessed, but sometimes I just want to be that “normal college student.” 

I want to be able to stay I want to stay up all night and hang out with friends. I want to not worry about practice in the morning. I want to be able to on a whim take a trip to Las Vegas or Moab. In the past few days I have texted so many of friends saying “I’m sorry I have work.” Or “I’m sorry I have practice.” At what point is there free time? I tend to have it from the hours of 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. So do I give up sleep to enjoy life? 

I’m not trying to complain and I am not trying to say I don’t appreciate all the things I have, but I just want a break sometimes too. I know I have said in my previous posts I only have one year left and I am going to give it my all, but I also don’t want to look back at my college experience and say that I didn’t do anything either. 

Here’s to fighting that never ending struggle for balance. 

-Kersten xo.